prstinelbertine (prstinelbertine) wrote in dnd3e,
prstinelbertine
prstinelbertine
dnd3e

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I thought I'd share this excerpt from my own journal, written hastily and manically last night after I returned from playing. Bear in mind that my players and I are a bunch of fucked up college kids. After having them mow down an army of undead babies last week, I didn't think I could top myself in regards to offensiveness. Oh how wrong I was...

(P.S. This is pretty raunchy and probably shouldn't be read if you can't deal with extremely offensive subjects without shitting a brick wall; hence the lj cut...)

I normally wouldn’t pollute the erstwhile chicness of my livejournal with tales of my D&D campaign, but after tonight’s insanity, I feel that I must.
I FUCKED MY CHARACTERS UP tonight. Sure, there was the regular monster slaying and treasure finding, but the real theme of tonight’s adventure was extreme sexual degradation. Mandy and Jenny were being held captive in a prison. Sure enough, two horny prison guards came by and RAPED THE SHIT OUT OF THEM. Jenny’s rapist tried to pull out in time to shoot a load on her face and, in the process, ended up spilling cum in her twat and all over her face. Sadly, she wasn’t impregnated (we rolled for this), but she did contract an STD. Mandy, however, was brutally raped with neither pregnancy nor STD. Both feisty fighters thought they’d best their rapists by kicking them in the balls on their way out of the cells. What a bad idea. Jenny’s rapist pissed all over her from the safety of the other side of the bars and Mandy’s rapist took a runny shit and tried to fling it at her (unfortunately, she dodged the flying feces).
Meanwhile, Tyrone submitted to anal penetration by way of a well dressed older man in a lavish bedroom elsewhere in the dungeon. However, Tyrone’s rapist’s big human dick was far too large to be shoved up his tight gnomish asshole, so he took 4 damage and now has a shitty, cum-splattered, ripped apart anus.

Later on, whilst fighting in a pit of shit, piss, dead bodies and rotting food, Jenny was successfully pinned and mounted by an otyugh. Yes, that slut got fucking PLOWED by its huge monstrous cock. If you don’t know what an otyugh is, it’s an 8 foot tall, 500 lb. monster that lives in and eats waste, and looks like this:


I bet that fucking slut loved it. Sadly, she passed her 4% chance to be impregnated with a hideous hybrid child.

Who fucking knows what I’ll have in store for these poor players next week.
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