D&D 3E

The most of you lot are running rpgs bassed in real life I assume while me on the other hand...I'm dming a forum rpg. This gets...weird. We don't do the stats and dice thing too well because you can't really see what people are doing and when you can see them...they're all stoned and drunk. So we're writing. So in general it's like create your own story but I thought I'd post some of the spells, artifacts, creatures, and the like I as stupid gm russel up and maybe if you like it, you can assymilate it borg style into your stuff and give it some stats for your game eh?

Starting with the Instant Musical feat/effect/spell
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So one of my players got implanted with some Huge Monstrous Spider eggs the other night. I gave her a couple of Fort saves to see if her body would reject the eggs but, luck of luck, she failed. So can anyone think of any plausible ways that she could somehow bring some sort of hideous spider/human baby to term? I'm thinking it'd look pretty similar to a drider (except with a human half rather than a drow), be less powerful, be a baby, and maybe have some nice mandibles protruding from its mouth. But I just can't think of any believeable ways for a human to conceive such a hybrid. Any suggestions?