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D&D 3E
D&D Christmas tune 
27th-Dec-2004 08:44 pm
Hey guys 'n gals, new to the community, just thought I'd share a little jingle (to the tune of Jingle Bells). Don't know where it's originally from.

Slashing through the Orcs
With a good two-handed blade
Over corpses we go
And through the gore we wade
Mace on helmet rings
Making bodies fly
What fun to sing our Slaying Song
And watch these suckers DIE!


Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We're brave and bold for fame and gold
We'll make a lot today!
Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And blow these dudes away!

Crashing through the door
Into the Dragon's nose
Our mage whips out a Cone of Cold
And out his fire goes!
Elven bowstrings sing
Making Balrogs fall
And our theif finds a secret door
Into the treasure hall!

Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We're brave and bold for fame and gold
We'll make a lot today!
Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And blow these dudes away!

Then appears the Lich
With his demon guard
Our wizard yawns and wishes
We'd run into something hard.
He begins to cast
His 19th level spell
The damn lich throws a Gate at us
And drops us all in Hell!

Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We're brave and bold for fame and gold
We'll make a lot today!
Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And blow these dudes away!

We appear in Hell
In front of Satan's throne
Our Cleric waves us out the door
And takes him on alone!
Satan's legions don't
Want to let us go
Our Techno pulls a bazooka out
And NUKES 'em 'till they GLOW!

Oh, ring their bells with Prayers and Spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We're brave and bold and CRAZED, we're told
To think we'll live the day!
Oh, ring their bells with swords and SHELLS
Don't let 'em get away!
We'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And drag our loot away!
Comments 
28th-Dec-2004 04:48 am (UTC)
Now that I think about it that's actually fairly ridiculous, but hey, I found it amusing at least.
28th-Dec-2004 01:14 pm (UTC)
That was great!!!
28th-Dec-2004 02:18 pm (UTC)
Very nice, but can you LJ-cut it?

Thanks.
28th-Dec-2004 03:29 pm (UTC)
damn that's an old jingle. i actually used that in a campaign about 5 years ago and it still cracks me up.
28th-Dec-2004 04:09 pm (UTC)
I like it!

Very entertaining!

Thanks for that bit of random holiday silliness :)
28th-Dec-2004 06:51 pm (UTC)
That's really cute. I might have to print that and share with my gaming group this weekend for some laughs. :-)
28th-Dec-2004 08:57 pm (UTC)
A Munchkin's Christmas Carol.

First time I saw that was on the Palladium Games Unofficial Mailing List.
29th-Dec-2004 02:49 am (UTC) - Here's another variant...
I came up with this one thinking about how an intelligent (semi or otherwise) would celebrate the season...

Also to the tune of Jingle Bells:

Crashing to the ground,
In a broken heap.
Someone set me up,
For the big dirt sleep.

Woke up on the slab,
Feeling mighty stiff.
Got up just to walk it off,
And took a big fat whiff. WHOA!

Jingle Bells, what's that smell?
I'm so stinkin' dead!
Things just never been the same,
Since that mace upside my head (OW!)

Jingle Bells, burn in hell.
Undeath sure does blow.
I can't even write my name,
In the new fal'n snow.
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